Well, for the first time in my life since I have been sentient, I am... confused. In the true sense of the word, with every parallel and alternate it can imply. Not confused, as in when you're deciding between a Chicken Teriyaki sub or a McSpicy. The real, I don't really know crap kind of confused.
First off, I'm getting the feeling that this is gonna be a rather unhappy post. (First one in my blog, I'm hopefully guessing). Its not exactly gonna be downright unhappy, but its not gonna be celebrative, I'm sure I can guarantee that. Anyway, the problem? Well, there isn't one, or I haven't been able to encapsulate it into something. That's where I'm hoping this post will aid me, in a way sometimes putting things down or saying them out loud can.
The thing is, (now if I am intentionally vague at certain points, its not because I'm being intentionally smug, its due to the fact that I respect the privacy of the people involved, as there always are) that I am, how do I put this.. off the counter, if you might say so. And its different from when I've been taken off it before. That coupled with the simple truth that it's been a while, has perhaps been the cause of my trouble.
Thing is, I can't find anything wrong with it. There really is nothing. Where other such instances fail, ours excels, and you'd think I was happy, I was jubilant, but the problem is, I'm not. Surprisingly, the points where I believe I should've been happy, I'm simply... devoid of emotion. Now I realise that I may not be the most emotional person you can find, even though I manage to maintain a facade of it, I do.like.emotions. I like them because they represent to me the unexplored vistas of human potential, and they never fail to fascinate me.
However, this is where I must leave you. This is where it becomes my journey. But then again, we're all born alone, aren't we? Die alone as well. I'm being apocalyptic or nihilistic. The word 'alone' is one that has been stretched and torn out of all meaning by today's generation, but I hope you'd consider it without prejudice, without connotation, without pride or personal inflections.
Over and out.
First off, I'm getting the feeling that this is gonna be a rather unhappy post. (First one in my blog, I'm hopefully guessing). Its not exactly gonna be downright unhappy, but its not gonna be celebrative, I'm sure I can guarantee that. Anyway, the problem? Well, there isn't one, or I haven't been able to encapsulate it into something. That's where I'm hoping this post will aid me, in a way sometimes putting things down or saying them out loud can.
The thing is, (now if I am intentionally vague at certain points, its not because I'm being intentionally smug, its due to the fact that I respect the privacy of the people involved, as there always are) that I am, how do I put this.. off the counter, if you might say so. And its different from when I've been taken off it before. That coupled with the simple truth that it's been a while, has perhaps been the cause of my trouble.
Thing is, I can't find anything wrong with it. There really is nothing. Where other such instances fail, ours excels, and you'd think I was happy, I was jubilant, but the problem is, I'm not. Surprisingly, the points where I believe I should've been happy, I'm simply... devoid of emotion. Now I realise that I may not be the most emotional person you can find, even though I manage to maintain a facade of it, I do.like.emotions. I like them because they represent to me the unexplored vistas of human potential, and they never fail to fascinate me.
However, this is where I must leave you. This is where it becomes my journey. But then again, we're all born alone, aren't we? Die alone as well. I'm being apocalyptic or nihilistic. The word 'alone' is one that has been stretched and torn out of all meaning by today's generation, but I hope you'd consider it without prejudice, without connotation, without pride or personal inflections.
Over and out.
