Some days, you feel like you’re heading for something you never expected. Something that might be called ‘good’, but would never turn out to be the adventure you wanted to have when you set out.
You thought you could never get tied down, live in the moment; you would work at something you love. Day by day, every accolade you collect, every complement you gather whispers in your ear that you’re one step closer, and that you’re on the right path. But somehow, at some bizarre inexplicable point in your life that probably felt like any other, you stop feeling closer and closer and start moving away. At some point, you’re not sure of what you want, or what you wanted all this while. You know how it should make you feel, but you just don’t know what it is. And then you realize, you never knew what was waiting for you out there. Finally, you understand, you have been moving closer, but you’ve been so far away, it was only like walking towards a star, where all your steps count for nothing.
You thought you could never get tied down, live in the moment; you would work at something you love. Day by day, every accolade you collect, every complement you gather whispers in your ear that you’re one step closer, and that you’re on the right path. But somehow, at some bizarre inexplicable point in your life that probably felt like any other, you stop feeling closer and closer and start moving away. At some point, you’re not sure of what you want, or what you wanted all this while. You know how it should make you feel, but you just don’t know what it is. And then you realize, you never knew what was waiting for you out there. Finally, you understand, you have been moving closer, but you’ve been so far away, it was only like walking towards a star, where all your steps count for nothing.
And then I guess, someday I’ll just end up as some guy in some building, going home to his wife and kids, working for them, growing old and dying. Perhaps I’ll disappear into the babble of voices around me, forfeiting the will to strive ahead of the rest, resigning with not so much as a sign into a routine, a vegetable. Even the highest mountain in the world can only you take you so high; you will have to start walking down sometime.
What is my greatest fear? Without a second thought, it is this prospect, this sword of Damocles that is my greatest fear and my greatest motivation.
Over and Out.
Over and Out.
